A Caress
by Lutetium71
Summary: TROS spoilers inside. The deepest of feelings can be conveyed in the lightest of caresses. What would their future have looked like if things had been different, if a balance had been maintained and a chance of redemption offered. It was meant to be a one shot, but it has taken on a life of its own! Something to help fix that ending! REYLO!
1. Chapter 1

Harrowing cries penetrated the silence of the surrounding chasm. Her trembling fists grasping desperately at the shirt that covered his still chest as if to hold on to the last vestige of his life.

No coherent thoughts were present in Rey's mind at that moment. Rearing back from him, sorrow erupted from her in a sudden pulse that shook the world around her. Time itself appeared to pass into extinction as she allowed herself to implode with the feelings of anger, sorrow and abandonment which raged within. The air stilled as electrons in atoms around her slowed their orbits around the centre of their own universes, as if they paused to observe the cataclysmic emotions emanating from her. There was no one to observe or hear her, yet her feelings were felt in every corner of the galaxy, touching every soul she had, would or would never meet. A pulse in the galaxy perceptible to all that lingered as time slowed to a mere creep. She was not alone in the world, yet she sat there, a broken soul amongst the stars, incomplete and empty.

It was sometime later when Rey emerged from her oblivion. Moving to cradle Ben's face reverently between her hands she placed her forehead against his as she hovered above him, her now silent tears caressing his cooling face. The face that had, in that one brief moment, shown such hope and unadulterated love. Reaching out to lay her palm on his chest, she felt no movement. Her lips devoid of whispers of breath expelled from his own. She was oblivious to all that surrounded her as she huddled over his once domineering form now laid bare to face the mercy of the world. She had felt alone and abandoned her entire life, but had never experienced loss, she didn't know how to grieve, how to mourn. So, she wept, her hands tangling in his damp ink black hair as she chanted his name over and over, branding his name into her memory.

His name fell from her cracked lips in a silent plea to the generations of voices that had filled her mind only moments ago. Reaching out towards that force she was left with a feeling of emptiness and was met with a low hum of static that reverberated throughout her body. With what determination she had left she pushed deeper and was drawn blindly on. She didn't want to believe she had truly been left alone again.

Barrelling aimlessly through the force her plea was met with silence. About to give up, fatigue finally taking its toll on her worn out body, her mind was drawn towards something, a faint, jet persistent vibration in the force.

And then she felt it.

A cold caress of breath against her lips.

* * *

XO Author's note OX

* * *

Hey everyone! This is my first FF despite being a member now for 10 years. I have never published anything like this before, but I have been so inspired by the amazing pieces of work I have read on here that I thought I would share my vision on here. I have also never felt so strongly about the end of a film EVER!

There is more to this story already down on paper. Please let me know what you think of the above and if you want to read any more of this story and where my imagination takes me (down Reylo fluff lane I imagine hehe).

I wrote the above listening to Leap of Faith by Audiomachine, one of my favourite pieces of music, give it a listen :)

Enjoy :D


	2. Chapter 2

Rey's eyes shot open as she felt his breath against her lips. It had been faint, but she had felt it.

"Ben. Please…Breath again, come on," she implored as she moved both hands to cup his face, positioning her cheek close against his mouth. There it was again. A faint breath against her cheek. Rey let out a long shaky breath she hadn't realised she had been holding in, fresh tears spilling from her puffy eyes. Not convinced, she sought him out again in the force. Knowing where to look, she found him again. He was a faint, yet persistent hum amongst the static. She was reassured as her clammy palm, now placed again his chest, was met by the shallow, yet steady rise and fall of his chest and slow thud of his heart. Not taking her eyes from his face, Rey sat there for a while longer, as if every breath he took reassured her of his presence in this dimension.

"Right," Rey said with determination as she tore her eyes from him and looked around the dark chasm that surrounded them "I need to get us out of here," she mused as she pushed herself unsteadily to her feet.

"And how the Shavit am I going to do that!" she exclaimed to herself as she looked over Ben's prone body. Not only did he dwarf her in stature, she noticed his lower leg was held at an awkward angle. Determining that she could do little to help his leg other than try and stabilise it, she tore strips from her tattered robes and tightly wrapped them around the injured limb.

"I'm sorry, I'm not trying to hurt you!" Rey grimaced as she felt a slight throb in the force before it returned to its steady hum, "But I don't think I can make things much worse than they are now. I'm sure you will forgive me later," She hoped. Pausing, she smiled faintly "At least there is going to be a later."

Standing stiffly to her feet Rey went to collect Luke and Leia's lightsabre's, clipping them onto her belt as she stumbled her way back to Ben's side. Raising her wrist slightly she flexed her invisible muscle, attempting to force-lift Ben. Nothing. "Come on!" Rey exclaimed through gritted teeth as she stretched out to the force again only to be met with its absence. Shaking her hand angrily, as if she thought it might help, she tried once more, failing even to raise a grain of dust that rested on Ben. "I never thought lifting rocks would be so hard," Rey said ruefully as she thought of Luke.

With resignation, Rey lifted her backpack from over her head, extended the straps and crouched down behind Ben's head. Heaving his lifeless body into a sitting position she looped the bag over his head and under his arms before gently laying him back down.

"Let's do this the old-fashioned way then," she almost huffed through gritted teeth as she set her feet firmly into the ground and pulled against Ben's weight.

Their exit through the cavernous hallways of the temple was agonizingly slow. Not only did she have to pause to heave Ben over fallen debris, her feet failed to make purchase against the loose jagged rubble underfoot, causing her to slip. After what seemed like hours the horizontal slit of light at the entrance of the temple widened before her and the shadows of the X-wing and what she assumed was Ben's TIE fighter came into view.

"Ok, step one done," Rey breathed as she unceremoniously slumped down on her bum behind Ben's head, arms falling above her head in pure exhaustion. Not wanting to stop for fear of falling into sleep Rey crawled onto her hands and knees and moved to hover over Ben, placing a hand on his chest. "Yes good, you're still breathing," she sighed as she leant down to confirm that the bandage was still in place noticing, and choosing to ignore, the blood that had seeped through the bandage. "One last check before I attempt the impossible," Rey murmured as she reached out to find him again. And sure enough, he was there, no more present than before, but present none-the-less.

Resting her head briefly on Ben's chest she sighed before she heaved herself to her feet, uncurling her body as a fern opening for its first taste of sun. Hobbling over to the X-wing Rey looked inside, "Well that is NEVER going to work," she exclaimed as she looked between the cramped cockpit, herself and Ben. Glancing back toward Ben, she glanced the TIE Fighter out of the corner of her eye, "Maybe…" she pondered as she made her way to his ship. Scrambling around the outside of the cockpit Rey found the release and it opened with a familiar whoosh of decompressing air. Scanning the cockpit, she noticed there was a space at the back, behind the pilot's seat. Resigning herself that this was the best option, Rey moved back to Ben and began dragging him towards the TIE-Fighter.

"I do hope you can't see any of this, it certainly isn't dignified, well for you anyway," Rey rattled as she hauled him prone onto the back seat. "Do the First Order not have seat harnesses. Probably think they are unnecessary," she muttered as she hunted impatiently around for any form of belt whilst attempting to keep Ben precariously balanced on the seat. "Yes. Right. Finally," she gleamed as she held the allusive belt aloft in her hands. Buckling him in as best she could, considering his unorthodox prone position on the seat, Rey checked for the presence of his hum before easing herself into the pilot's seat. Taking a moment, Rey carefully brushed hair from his eyes, marvelling all the while at how peaceful he looked.

Before shutting the canopy, Rey caught sight of the X-wing. Luke's X-wing. "Kriff, I can't leave it here," She sighed, her head falling against the back of the chair with a soft thud. For the last time, she hoped, Rey stumbled over to the X-Wing. Clambering up into the cockpit she punched in the codes necessary to program the craft to return to Ajan Kloss on autopilot.

Minutes later Rey sat in the TIE Fighter and began to punch in the same codes she had moments before in the X-Wing. Looking out of the window Rey's thoughts flickered back to the events of the day and briefly considered the ramifications of everything that had come to an end. And what had begun. At that last fleeting thought, her hand stayed over the last button, the sudden realisation of _who_ it was she was bringing with her hitting her with full force. In that second, she realised that whilst _she_ was bringing Ben Solo home, _they_ would see him as Kylo Ren. A murderous tyrant in their eyes. She knew they would be out for blood, his blood. At that thought she felt her entire body pulse as if a million tiny threads connected deep inside of her pulled her backwards towards the prone body behind her. She had felt this pull before, when their bond had connected them previously, but never so strongly, never with intensity and focus. Catching her breath, she knew then what her choice would be. Gritting her teeth Rey punched the last button as she piloted the TIE Fighter off of the ground and into an uncertain future.

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Author's Notes:  
Hey Everyone! So I am going to continue with this, I have been on a roll and have the bulk of 8 chapters down on paper. I don't like jumping around much in stories so there are going to be some filler chapters coming up. I just need to manoeuvre the characters into place so I can get down to the story I have had in my head all along! Enjoy and let me know what you think :D


	3. Chapter 3

Coming out of hyperspace, Rey decided to put down on the other side of the planet. She needed to make contact with Finn and Poe.

"Finn, Poe, do you copy?" Rey spoke over the comms unit. She hoped they wouldn't notice, but she could hear the nervousness in her own voice. Clearing her throat, Rey sat up straighter in the chair taking a few steadying breaths to compose herself.

"Rey! NO way Re…Hey Poe, man quick," Finn's voice crackled over the radio "Rey, where are you? Luke's X-Wing just got here…Wait I am so confused right now," Finn rambled on. She could here commotion going on around him that sounded like chairs clattering to the floor

"Finn, I'm ok. I umm, I have just landed but you need to listen…" Rey was cut off as Poe's voice broke in over the radio.

"Rey! Thank the force!" he exclaimed sounding breathless, "Yes give me a minute I'm getting there Finn," Rey smiled fondly as she heard him mutter impatiently to Finn, it wasn't hard to imagine how Finn eagerly hovered over Poe's shoulder wanting to be the one talking. "Where are you, what do you mean you have landed?"

Taking a deep breath Rey continued "I'm in another craft. Now please don't interrupt, you need to listen..."

"Rey com…" Finn protested.

"Finn, Poe please" She said tightly as she turned to look at Ben behind her who, if she hadn't known otherwise, looked peacefully asleep, his inky hair falling across his face once again. Taking a steadying breath, she continued, "I am in a First Order craft and I have a passenger with me. They need medical attention."

"First order? What do you mean you have someone with you? We didn't send anyone to find you…" Finn trailed off, a slight uneasiness creeping through his voice.

"Who else can hear this?" Rey asked not wanting to alert the entire base to the identity of her passenger.

"Just Finn and I, we have headsets on," Poe explained and waited for her to continue.

"I will explain more when I see you. I promise. But for now, I need you to meet me. Bring the Falcon and a medical droid if you can spare one," she finished.

"Are you hurt?" Finn asked urgently, almost shouting over the radio causing Rey to wince at the volume.

"I'm fine" She replied. She knew she couldn't put off telling them who was with her for much longer.

"So, who is the droid…" Finn questioned before he was cut off as Poe cut in. "Rey, tell us, who is with you, stop being so darned vague," Poe insisted.

"Ben Solo" Rey revealed as she gritted her teeth waiting for them to respond. It seemed to Rey as if minutes passed by as static sounded over the radio between them. She felt like she had been transported back to the temple on Exegol. The silence became an almost physical presence as it had been then.

"Send us your coordinates," Poe stated simply in an even voice.

"You both need to be prepared to listen to me. If you are going to ambush me, I will know," She warned as again she was met with silence.

"Just send us your coordinates," Poe repeated, but offered no more to reveal his feelings about Rey's revelation.

Rey sat there for a moment and considered her options again as she had done on the entire trip here. She could have taken him to a random planet and hope she could find someone to help, the problem being that the only planet coordinates she knew were resistance bases; they would likely be abandoned or in a state of dis-repair. It wasn't even as if she could take him to her home, if she even wanted to stretch as far as calling Jakku home. Anyway, in addition to her general feelings toward the place, she didn't think that an AT-AT, in the middle of a desert, was the best place for Ben to heal and recuperate. That left her with returning to her friends on Ajon Kloss but she knew that would put Ben in the direct path of danger. She knew what he had done as Kylo Ren was unforgiveable, she would never expect them to forgive him, but similarly, how could she expect them to understand that this man was not Kylo Ren and was in fact Ben Solo. At this point in time she was certain of only one thing and that was Ben. She didn't understand it, not for one moment, but she had never felt anything so unwavering and solid in her entire life; she was anchored. She knew she would have to fight for him, just as he had done for her; she knew this would be hard.

In that moment she knew she only had one choice. Taking a deep breath Rey reached out a shaking hand and transmitted her coordinates to Finn and Poe. Now, all she had to do was wait.

XOX

Rey had landed in a small clearing surrounded by tall and twisting trees whose limbs reached high above her to touch the low-lying mist that crept over the forest. Now out of the cockpit, Rey paced nervously in front of the ship, lightsabres unlit and clenched in each hand. Turning her head, Rey heard the familiar roar of the Falcon before it came into view through the swirling mist above. As the engines came to a whirring stop, Rey turned towards the ship and caught the eyes of Finn and Poe staring, what appeared nervously, out of the cockpit.

Twisting her feet into the ground Rey crouched and braced herself for what she imagined was going to come barrelling down the ramp. Keeping tabs on Ben's life force was muffling her ability to gauge the emotional tone of her environment with the force. She felt blind. It seemed like minutes passed before the ramp descended and she heard calm, deliberate footsteps walking down the ramp.

Finn was the first to talk. "Rey please relax a little. Put the sabres down and let's talk," he implored as he took in the scene before him; his hands open, palms up at his side.

"No. Not until I have your guarantee you will not harm him," she almost hissed feeling a ripple of protectiveness course through her as her hands gripped the lightsabres.

"Rey, listen to Finn. Please. We are not here to hurt anyone. We want to talk." It was Poe who spoke this time as he came into view behind Finn down the ramp. He too held his hands to his sides, but she noticed his blaster was still in place.

"I can't let you harm him," she seethed through gritted teeth not convinced by their words. "This isn't Kylo Ren. This is Leia and Han's son, Ben Solo," Rey said as she felt that ripple coursing through her surge to new heights as if a storm at sea reaching its climax raged within her.

"Rey. How many times do we have to say it? But L-I-S-T-E-N," Finn said unperturbed by his friend's defensive, and he thought to himself almost primal, attitude. "Can't you feel our intentions?" Finn asked.

"No, I can't feel anything," Rey spat as the frustration ripped at her voice.

"Then listen to us. Trust us," Poe implored.

Taking Rey's lack of response as an indicator she was now ready to listen, Poe carried on. "We know you have Ben Solo with you," He stated as he took a few more steps toward her as he continued "Leia, she, well. She left us a message. When we got back from the fight R2 came rolling out in a flurry or beeps and whirs. We thought he was just happy to see everyone. Turns out before Leia passed, she left a message with R2."

Rey stared at the two men, her face contorting in confusion as she tried to process his words. "A message, what kind of message?" Rey questioned as she felt the storm inside her ebbing away.

"A holorecording. R2 had been programmed to show it to us when we, if we, returned." Finn answered with a shrug as his stance relaxed.

For a moment Rey didn't know how to respond, she was baffled by the fact that Leia had left a message. Regardless of how her mind raced to try and understand this, she couldn't comprehend why Finn and Poe were apparently so calm

"But what about what he did when he was Kylo Ren? You can't expect me to believe you can forget all of that?" She asked a frown indenting her brow as she verbalised her thoughts.

"Oh, believe me Rey, no one has forgotten," Poe spoke, a bite to his words, but pausing momentarily, continued in a softer tone, "No. We can't forget and no one should try, many will never forgive him."

"Like ever," Finn added, receiving a glare from both Poe and Finn. "Sorry," he muttered. "But no Rey seriously. I, I mean we," he motioned between him and Poe "have no idea really what is going on there," he waved his arms toward her and the ship. "But we can work our way through it. That's what friends, and family, are for," he smiled at her.

At those final words, all tension drained from her as she dropped both of the sabres and ran with stumbling feet toward the two men. They caught her as she came stumbling into their arms, her small body crumbling to the floor taking them with her. Poe and Finn simply sat and held her small frame as she silently wept, offering the silent support she needed in that moment.

Not too long after Finn took Rey gently by the shoulders and pulled her back speaking to her softly "Rey, as much as I am enjoying this reunion, I think we need to get going and get Ky-, sorry, Ben," Finn corrected himself and had the decency to divert his eyes briefly to the floor "and you, back to base".

At the mention of Ben's name Rey was pulled back to reality in a second. Taking the offered hands of both men Rey pulled herself to her feet and took a deep breath to settle herself.

"What do you need?" Poe asked as he started back toward the Falcon.

"Have you got a stretcher or something like that?" Rey asked as Finn helped her back toward the cockpit. Poe disappeared and Rey assumed to get the necessary items.

Having instructed Finn to wait a few metres away, Rey opened the cockpit and shuffled in around the back of the pilot's seat to where Ben still lay lifeless. If she couldn't still feel his faint hum in the force, she herself might have been convinced of his passing. Unclipping the belts Rey used what little was left of her strength to slide Ben gently down from the bench with a soft thud.

Momentarily Finn was frozen in place at the sight of the might Kylo Ren so limp and lifeless in front of him. Shaking himself he protested as he watched Rey struggling "Rey, you can't drag him the whole way out!" He exclaimed taking a step towards her.

"Don't. Come. Any. Closer," Rey almost hissed in reply without turning to look at him.

"Whoa Rey, you can be as dramatic as you like. But I am not waiting around for hours watching you drag that sorry lump to the Falcon with you hurt like that," He said as he expelled a frustrated breath.

"I'm fine, he needs me. I'm fine," She insisted as she continued to pull Ben towards the cockpit entrance.

"No Rey," he said softly "You are exhausted, man we all are. But you look like you could collapse. And you're bleeding," He pointed out, drawing her attention to the stinging pain she could feel on her back. Collapsing back on her heels she let out a weary breath whilst moving to place her hands either side of Ben's face. He felt solid and she drew a sense of calmness from him that numbed some of the pain she felt gnawing away at her.

"What do you suggest?" She asked quietly. Snapping her head around, the soft growl that answered her could only have come from one place. "Chewie?" She asked, her eyes brimming with tears. Slowly approaching the craft Chewie came to crouch beside her, placing his large hand gently on her arm. Offering a soft string of growls, Rey paused momentarily before she moved away and allowed Chewie to stoop inside and scoop Ben into his arms with as much care as she had seen him bestow on anything, even the Falcon. No sooner had Chewie placed her precious cargo on the hover-stretcher, he strode off to prepare the Falcon, all eyes following him in quiet dis-belief.

Returning to Ben's side Rey placed her hand back against his chest, her gaze not wavering from his silent features as they made their way into the falcon. Both Finn and Poe noticed the interaction but chose not to say anything. Aboard the Falcon the three sat in silence as Chewie stirred the Falcon into life and turned for home.

* * *

Author's Note:  
Hey everyone! I have never written dialogue before, so please bare with me while I settle into it! I'm more used to talking about rocks which obviously don't talk XD Enjoy, let me know what you think! :D


	4. Chapter 4

It had been ten days since Rey had returned to the base with Ben and still, he hadn't roused. Rey had sat vigil over him from the moment they returned, only leaving to have her own wounds tended to, refusing to leave the chair beside his bed even to sleep. This in itself had driven Poe and Finn mad as they tried, without success, to persuade her to sleep in a bed. Eventually they had reached a compromise by suggesting that they bring her bed into the same room.

Only hours after having arranged this compromise, Finn and Poe made their way through the base to check up on her, as they regularly did these days. Finn knocked gently upon reaching the door. Upon hearing no reply, Finn raised his eyebrows at Poe and pushed open the door, both keeping their blasters crossed in hope she was finally asleep.

Poe let out an audible breath as they both peaked around the door to see Rey finally fast asleep. Satisfied with what they had seen the two men walked back down the corridor to answer the many calls they had on their time.

"You know, she insisted the beds be laid directly next to one another," Finn mused.

"There is some connection there right, physically I mean, with the hand on his chest?" Poe suggested shrugging his shoulders.

"Could be man. I don't think we will ever really understand that," Finn replied as he pointed his thumb over his shoulder to the room they had just left. Poe could not agree more as he slapped Finn on the back.

XOX

Sitting cross legged next to Ben, her hand on his chest, had become Rey's default position over the last fortnight. She spent most of her days in meditative silence as she sank deep into the force and her connection with Ben, mindless of the hustle and bustle of the world around them. After not having been able to sense much through the force for several days, she was finding it increasingly easy to slip into this state. With every passing day she felt as if broken circuits were being reconnected as her ability to feel the force around her, and Ben, became stronger.

In the first few days of her return Maz, accompanied by Poe, had visited her. She had learnt quite quickly that Leia had left Maz in command, with Poe as her second. Maz had explained that the Galactic Senate had been summoned to the planet to debate the fate of Ben Solo. She had shrunk at this news, the reality of Ben's precarious position becoming all too clear to her. Whilst she was yet to see it, Maz had gone on to tell her that the recording left by Leia would be shown at the senate, but Rey had been lost in her own mind then. Only when Maz went to take her leave had she snapped out of it asking if she could have a private word with Maz.

"I wanted to ask you about something you said to me, when we first me," Rey had asked.

"Anything," Maz replied as she settled herself back into the chair her eyes squinting slightly.

"You said to me that _there is still someone who could come back_," She paused furrowing her brows, "for a long time I thought you meant Luke, but I have been thinking about it for a while now. I wondered if you had meant Ben?" She puzzled as she looked directly at Maz.

"My child, does it matter who I meant?" Maz replied rhetorically as she stood. With a brief smile and squeeze of her hand, Maz had left the room, leaving Rey staring at her back in retreat. Rey had never really expected a direct answer, Maz was cryptic at the best of times, but she had always been curious. Whilst Rey admitted she was right; she was no less intrigued about what Maz had said to her on Takonda.

Daily visits from Poe and Finn had been a relief. She hadn't realised how nervous she was of their reaction to bringing Ben back with her. Whilst at first their tense shoulders and flicks of their gaze towards the slumbering form beside her had put her on edge, the two men had gradually become accustomed to Ben's presence and soon they were conversing as if he weren't there. The three discussed recent events with relish. Finn exuberantly described charging across a star destroyer on an Orbak whilst Poe recounted a daredevil flying manoeuvre that BB-8 had deemed circuit wrenching and had made Poe promise to never do it again. They had asked her carefully about what had happened on Exegol and she had told them everything. Apart from her being the granddaughter of Palpatine; she wasn't quite ready to face that. She had told them how Ben had turned up and helped her. When she explained she had died and he had revived her, they had sat staring blankly at her, mouths hanging open, their eyes flashing from her to Ben and back.

Beside Finn and Poe, she had had few other visitors. After five days her heart had warmed at the sight of Chewie ducking through the door. He had been accompanied by a man he had introduced as Lando Calrissian. He had turned out to be a quick-witted man who oozed charm; she couldn't help liking him and thinking how much he was like Han. Both Chewie and Lando had sat with Rey reminiscing of times with Han during daring raids and close calls but also about when Ben was a child. They both had fond memories of him, how he had accompanied them on some of their "safer" escapades much to Leia's irritation and how Lando had taught him to play Sabacc so well he could beat Han by the age of seven. They had all laughed heartily, Rey noticing that both Chewie and Lando held an almost fatherly affection for Ben. She couldn't help but smile.

Most days, when left to themselves and not meditating, Rey would chatter randomly to Ben about her past, their current situation and the future, but today she had taken to showing him some of her adventures as a scavenger on Jakku. Currently she was excitedly showing him her memory of scavenging a part deep within the Turbolaser turret auxiliary power cells on one of the downed Star Destroyers. She was so distracted by reliving the find that had gotten her five full portions, she almost fell off of her bed as she felt something deep inside her tug. Eyes flying open Rey spun to face Ben, her gaze met by two dark half-open pools.

"You must of had a feast," Ben mumbled, a weak smile playing across his lips.

"Ben," Rey breathed as she reached out to smooth a strand of hair from his face, her eyes searching his, "you're awake."

"Rey, I…" He murmured sleepily as he reached to clasp the had on his chest, his dark lashes shielding his eyes from the shafts of sun creeping through the windows.

"You saved me," She interrupted, her gaze not leaving his as her thumb smoothed his bruised cheek.

"I would have given my life for you," He stated simply as he raised his hand to rest on her cheek, his eyes fixated on hers. At his words a dazzling smile spread across Rey's face that reached her eyes and he couldn't help but returning it in kind. He took her breath away.

"I will never get over that smile," She beamed as she traced the smile lines around his eye.

"It's yours," he breathed as he shifted himself stiffly onto his elbow. Not breaking from her gaze, he brought his face to within inches of hers a deep longing in his eyes. Rey met him half-way as her lips brushed gently against his smile, their lips meeting in a shy dance full of tenderness. Moments of delicious silence passed as they lay themselves bare to one another, their bond harmonizing as two began their journey of melding into one.

Pulling back slightly she leant her forehead against his, marvelling at the man in front of her. Breaking the silence Ben spoke first as he lay back down into his pillows, "Where are we?"

"Ah yes," She sighed as she was pulled back to the present. Sitting next to him, her small hand still entwined in his she continued, "I feel I have a lot to explain. And we have so much to discuss. But first do you need anything, any food, or water maybe? Oh, or maybe some pain medicine…" She rattled away nervously as she went to get up.

Gently Ben pulled her back to sit down "One thing at a time," He said, a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth, "perhaps something to drink, I have no idea when I last drank anything," He mused.

"Well you are on a drip," She said, nodding towards the needle in his arm, "but I suppose it would have been over two we…"

"Two weeks?" He asked as he raked his hand through his hair

Smiling Rey got up to fetch some water and small plate of fruit from the sideboard. "Yes, you have been sleeping for two weeks," she answered looking over her shoulder at Ben who was in the process of trying to ease himself up into a sitting position. Noticing his struggles, she smiled internally at the sight and stored it away in her memory; she knew even then that Ben would rarely be in such a state. Returning to his bedside she picked the pillows from her bed and motioned Ben to sit forward before propping them behind his back.

Smiling at her actions Ben couldn't help wondering at himself for allowing himself to be so vulnerable in front of someone. The only person who had seen him in a similar state had been his mother, but he quickly pushed those memories back in his vault before they overcame him. He wasn't ready to face the past, he wanted to revel in the now. If only for a little while longer.

Rey had settled down next to him again and had taken to tracing patterns across his large palm that now lay in her lap. He wondered at the feeling and couldn't help thinking this was more human contact than he had had in years, it was consuming.

"And you have been here all that time?" He asked softly, placing a finger under her chin to lift her gaze from their hands to meet his eyes.

Nodding, Rey leaned to place a kiss on his hand, "Do you remember anything that happened, after, after we kissed?" She asked a blush colouring her cheeks.

"That's the last solid memory I have," He said, his brow furrowing in frustration, "can you show me?" He asked turning to look at her as he admired the colour that reached the tips of her ears.

Wordlessly Rey leant out to place her hand on his chest. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and began to project the events of the last two weeks to him across their bond. As images of recent events flowed from her, so did her emotions. He relived him slipping away in the cavern and felt the jarring eruption of her sorrow as it had exploded from her small frame. He watched as images of their exit from Exegol replayed, the journey to the TIE Fighter, their arrival on Ajan Kloss. He felt the protective instincts that had surged through her when she had first seen her friends and the relief she had felt when Chewie had helped her. She replayed conversations she had had with her visitors. Images of her tending to him flashed through his mind. The tenderness she had shown whilst she washed his hair and cleaned his grimy skin as she was careful not to upset the vivid red and purple bruises that bloomed over his body. Slowly the images faded and they both came blinkingly out of a daze-like state, both emotionally drained by what she had shown him.

Overwhelmed by the feelings that charged through every fibre of his being Ben took Rey's hand that lay on his chest and gathered her to him, nestling her against himself as his arms enveloped her. He had once told her that she wasn't nothing to him, he had been so wrong. She was everything to him. He didn't understand or comprehend it on any level, but in that moment, he knew he was hers, body and soul.

* * *

Hey! Ben has arrived! Let the fun begin :D I took some inspiration for the above from North and South, one of my all time favourite books, and the 2005 Pride and Prejudice film adaptation. Hope you enjoy, let me know what you think :D


	5. Chapter 5

It was some time later when Rey and Ben were woken by a soft tap at the door and Finn's voice asking to enter. Ben's body tensed and went to grab Rey as she stood.

"It's ok, it will just be Finn and Poe," she reassured him with a smile, "You are going to have to face them sooner or later." Ben grimaced knowing she was right. He hadn't wanted to think about this now but knew he would have to face reality at some point—he just wished it hadn't been quite yet. Rey had reassured him that things would work out, but he wasn't convinced. He had shed the persona that had been Kylo Ren, that he knew, but that didn't mean he had forgotten what he had done. He hadn't forgotten the faces of those he had killed or become deaf to their screams that came unbidden into his mind. He took responsibility for his actions and was prepared to face his inevitable punishment. Sitting himself upright in his bed he stole himself for the oncoming conversation.

"Is this a good time?" Finn asked as he and Poe stood outside of their room, "We came by earlier but well, you were both asleep" He trailed off as he inclined his head towards the room where he could see Ben sitting himself up in bed.

"Ben woke a few hours ago, we must have drifted back off," Rey answered as she glanced back to Ben. She could see he was trying to project a sense of stoic calmness, but she wasn't fooled as she felt the tremors of anxiety coming off of him. Sending him a gentle reassuring nudge through their bond Rey motioned for them to come in.

Walking over to stand next to Ben she placed her hand on his shoulder, "Ben, this is Finn and Poe," She said smiling at the two men, "Finn, Poe, meet Ben Solo." A pregnant pause followed Rey's introductions as the three men took one another in.

"Or, FN-2187 and Rebel scum as I think you used to call us," Finn said before he could think about what was coming out of his mouth. Poe simply rolled his eyes to the ceiling as he clasped his hands in front of him

"Thank you," Ben responded after a minute in a calm voice thick with emotion, "Thank you for helping Rey."

"I suppose you're welcome. But know we did it for her. Not for you," Finn stated firmly, not wanting to let on at the surprise at Bens response to his ill-timed words.

"I am under no illusions that you would feel any differently," Ben replied as tension began to knot in his muscles.

Knowing that there was more to be said on the topic, but that it best be left for another time, Rey steered the conversation elsewhere. "What will happen to us now?" Rey asked, motioning for Poe and Finn to take a seat as she sat down next to Ben taking his hand.

"Well nothing will happen to you," he inclined his head toward Rey and continued as his stare fell on Ben, "But no decisions have been made regarding you. People are conflicted as you can understand." Ben nodded at this his lips set in a firm line as he stared at the wall behind the two men.

"We attempted to hide that you were here," Finn said, "but news travels fast," he shrugged scratching his head, "And Maz, well she caught on pretty fast that something was up. No hiding from that one."

"Am I a prisoner?" Ben asked.

"Until the senate has made a decision. In short, yes. I cannot guarantee your safety if you go walking around the base. It's best for everyone," Poe answered honestly.

Ben simply nodded as he went back to examining the cracks in the wall. Whilst he understood where the men were coming from, he couldn't help the feeling that he was trapped. Not realising he was projecting his feelings, he felt a wave of calm emanating from Rey, her hand tightening on his reminding him of her presence.

"From all accounts, the senate are close to a decision, there are rumours they will announce their decision tomorrow. But in the meantime, R2 has something he needs to show you," Poe said as he walked over to open the door and R2, as if on cue, came wheeling through the door. "This," he gestured to R2, "is the only reason you aren't dead," Poe stated bluntly.

"Poe…" Finn said through closed lips as he shot a look at Poe.

"I'm only stating the truth," Poe said honestly, "This will be shown to the Senate." Rising to his feet Poe gave Rey a small smile and squeezing her shoulder briefly walked from the room.

Before leaving himself, Finn wrapped Rey in a tight embrace, "We will work this out," he whispered into the air before nodding his head to Ben and leaving Ben and Rey to their thoughts.

XOX

Ben knew what R2 was about to show them and he wasn't sure he was ready to see it. Rey had shown him her memory of Finn and Poe telling her about the holorecording. He felt conflicted at the thought of seeing her image again. His memories of her were fuzzy at best, but he remembered she had been a loving, yet absent mother, always at the beck-and-call of the senate. As a child they had been close, but despite his mother being force-sensitive, his ability with the force had scared her. He had felt as much. The last time he had seen her was when he had left to train with Luke years before. Feeling a light pressure on his arm he was stirred from his ruminations by Rey who had shifted next to him so she could look at him.

"Are you feeling up to this?" She asked as her brows furrowed in slight concern as she took in his pallid complexion.

"Will I ever?" He asked rhetorically as Rey turned and asked R2 to play the recording. With a beep of acknowledgement, a holoprojection flashed to life as Leia was projected in front of them. She looked as impressive as always as she sat before them on a low bench, her brown eyes fixed determinedly ahead of her.

_My friends. If you are watching this, I am no longer with you. I have left instructions as to who will follow in my footsteps and I am sure you will flourish under their guidance. It will be up to you all to shape the future into one worthy of the losses we have suffered._

_I wish I could have been there to guide you through the final days of the fight against the First Order and into the future. But there was one who needed me more. My son. Ben. _

_Han and I brought him into this world and we failed him. In our blindness we allowed him to become the puppet of a monster. Yet a parent's love is unbending and unbreakable; we never lost hope that our Ben was not lost to us completely. _

_I gave my life to save him, to bring him back from the darkness that had consumed him. I do not expect his actions to be forgotten, but I ask that you honour mine and Han's memory through allowing him to atone for his actions. Allow him a chance at redemption. Let him use his past sins as a foundation upon which he can help build a better future for all. _

_He will not be alone in his endeavours. He has found his equal in the force. Rey. She has brought him to you. Trust in her if not in him._

_Ben, know that you are not and never have been alone. You have, and always will be loved._

_The Galaxy has a purpose for you jet. _

Before they knew it the holoprojection abruptly shut off and Leia's image evaporated before their eyes. The ensuing silence poisoned the air around them, both choked by the emotions that numbed their thoughts but raged in their hearts. Lost in her mind Rey choked at the torrent of emotions that suddenly exploded from Ben. She froze as she watched Ben leap from the bed as he acquainted the cracks in the far wall with his fists. Strangled guttural roars ripped from his chest as the wall yielded to his frenzied assault. Fist after fist pounded into the wall.

Staggering to her feet against the onslaught of emotions, Rey hesitantly approached him. But his emotions were not that of anger, they spoke of grief, guilt, desperation and loneliness. Unsure of what to do, but out of pure instinct, Rey wrapped her arms around his waist. The effect of her touch was instantaneous and she slid with him to the ground as he crumpled under the colossal weight of his feelings.

As her own tears spilled from her eyes, Rey tucked Ben's head beneath her chin and began slowly rocking his quaking frame to and fro. Clutching onto him with everything she had she began humming a soft tune to him; she didn't know where the song had come from but its tune felt as natural to her as breathing. Minutes passed and Ben's body eventually began to still in Rey's arms, his shuddering breaths taking on a more even rhythm.

"Ben," Rey spoke very quietly at length, "Ben, please look at me." Ben slowly uncurled himself from her arms and raised his red swollen eyes to meet hers. He didn't know what to say or do. He was both drained from the emotions that had overtaken him upon hearing his mother's message and overwhelmed by the feelings he was having for Rey. He didn't know how to respond to this level of intimacy; he couldn't think of the last time he had experienced anything like it in the last decade. He felt raw and venerable, naked to the world with nothing to shield him.

_I will protect you and we will learn to understand these feeling together. We are one you and I. _Rey whispered across their bond answering his unspoken question.

"Rey," his voice was ragged and broken as he buried his head into her hair.

"Who am I?" He asked at length, his voice muffled by her hair, "I-, I used to have a purpose, a place in this world when I was," he swallowed audibly, "when I was Kylo Ren. But now, now I have to start over, but I have no idea where to begin. My mother says I have a purpose, but how am I to know what that is, when I don't even know who I am?"

Rey had thought often over the last two weeks that this would be an incredibly difficult transition for Ben to make. She knew he had shed the role of Kylo Ren, but she knew that when he had last been Ben Solo, he had been a child. He would have no memories of an adult Ben Solo. He simply never existed in completeness.

Unsure of how to respond to him, unsure herself of what their purpose would be, she turned her face up to him, "Why don't we find out together?" she smiled through glazed eyes.

"Together." He breathed in agreement as he bent and brushed his lips against her forehead.

XOX

With a start Rey woke later that night to the absence of the rise and fall of Ben's chest beneath her hand. Sitting up in bed Rey glanced around their room taking note briefly of the crumbled wall opposite the bed. Finding the room empty Rey walked out into the corridors of the base. Being the middle of the night, the base was quiet, the silence scattered by the melodious calls of Kloss Owls in the forest around them. Reaching out in the force she could sense Ben was not far away.

Thinking back to the events of the day, Rey repeated over in her head Leia's words _The Galaxy has a purpose for you jet. _She wanted to discuss this with Ben, but she knew it was far too soon. This train of thought brought back vivid images of his reaction to his mother's words and her heart tightened at the memory. When he had come around, he had been horrified at his reaction, more concerned that he had scared her than anything else, including his torn-up knuckles. As she had tended to his hands, she had projected her emotions onto him; only then did he accept his outburst hadn't scared her

Padding softly out into the open, the cool forest air nipping at her bare arms, her feet unconsciously followed their bond towards where Leia had kept her quarters. As she turned the corner, she saw him. He sat cross legged in quite meditation at the base of Leia's bed. Not wanting to interrupt, just happy that she had found him, Rey went to turn and leave before she felt a gentle tug across their bond.

_Stay.  
_

She heard his silent request and turned back to him as silently held out his hand for her. Taking his hand, she lowered herself down beside him. His face was a picture of calm, his long lashes caressing his cheeks as he sat silently, eyes closed. At peace.

_I haven't meditated since I was a padawan under Luke's guidance. Snoke never encouraged it, he saw it as a weakness. _

_I struggled at the start to get the hang of it. But it is peaceful. _Rey added as she herself sank deep into the force. _When I first brought you back here it was hard at first, harder after what happened. I could feel you getting stronger, your hum grew in my mind and it became easier. _

"My hum?" He asked, a slight smile in his voice as he spoke aloud.

"You sound like a hum to me. Across our bond, whatever this is, you have your own unique hum, deep and solid, like your own unique radio frequency I suppose". Ben smiled at Rey's description.

"I was drawn here," Ben said after a lengthy silence, "I woke in the night and felt her here. There is so much I want to say, yet I haven't found the words. I don't know if there are words," a frown momentarily marred his face

_"You will find the words in time," _Rey replied, "_Your mother has granted you that time."_

_"_I don't want to disappoint her," he whispered is a small voice as he looked down at Rey, "I was such a burden to my family."

"Your family loved you Ben, loved you in spite of what you became, because they knew who you were, deep inside" Rey answered as she laid her hand against his chest, "You will not be a disappointment."

"How can you say that?" Ben asked as he searched her face.

"Because I won't let you." Rey smiled as she fixed her eyes on his own as if she were challenging him. "Would you like me to leave you?"

"No, stay with me," Ben replied as he lifted her palm to his lips in a gentle kiss before he sunk back into the force.

Smiling Rey shifted her weight and settled into a more comfortable position. She had thought of so many questions over the last two weeks, and longer, that she wanted to ask him. At the moment she wanted to know if he had spoken to Leia. However, deciding that it was better to leave it for now, Rey followed Ben's example and sank down into the peaceful flow of the force.

* * *

Hey Everyone! The lullaby that Rey hums is Sleepsong lullaby from a secret garden. I might treat you all to another update tomorrow. I am having a blast writing this, I hope you are all enjoying it! :D


	6. Chapter 6

Two in the afternoon. That had been the time set for senate to announce Ben's fate.

Maz, who was now in charge after Leia's passing, had decided that Ben should not be present for the trial her reasoning being that his presence would cause some volatility. Only once a decision had been made, Ben and Rey would be asked to attend.

Rey had been angry when Poe told her this. She was furious that Ben would not get a chance to speak for himself. However, Ben had reiterated that whilst Kylo Ren may not exist anymore the blood of his crimes was still on his hands. He would suffer that knowledge for as long as he lived. Rey had been forced to concede.

As the time approached Ben could sense the heightening level of nervousness in Rey. Despite having spent so little real time together, he didn't need their bond to see it. He noticed that she tended to talk at incessant speed and was unable to sit still for any length of time.

"Rey, what is it?" He asked as he watched her re-arranging her few possessions on the sideboard for the fifth time that hour. "Rey, please speak to me" he implored.

Turning to face him tears escaped her eyes as she bit her lip to stop it trembling. Unable to speak aloud she whispered her worries across their bond.

_I don't want to be alone again. _She finally admitted.

Reaching her in two short strides he pulled her tightly to his chest. His heart constricted as she spoke the truth that he had been unable to articulate.

_We live in this world together and we leave it as one, that is my promise to you. _He meant every word of promise; he just hoped he could live by it.

Ben and Rey were shocked out of their trance as they heard a knock on the door shortly before a nameless guard walked in.

"They are ready for you," the stranger announced as he stepped aside for them to leave the room.

Walking silently through the seemingly endless stone corridors of the base, Rey and Ben were flanked on all sides by guards. Whilst connected by their bond, both yearned for the galvanizing touch of each other's skin. The base was eerily quiet as the only sound around them was their shoes clicking on the stone floors. The magnitude of what was about to happen wasn't lost on either of them as each step they took drew reality closer.

Without a falter of step Ben and Rey were led through a large set of double doors into the centre of an immense circular room whose vaulted ceiling brought flashbacks of the temple on Exegol into both their minds. Before Rey could do anything, she was pulled roughly to the side as she watched helplessly as Ben was marched into the centre of the room. At their appearance in the room the clamour of voices stilled; only Ben's distinct footsteps could be heard echoing throughout the room.

Rey stood at the edge of the room as she watched Ben being escorted to a raised podium at the centre. The walls of the room were lined with stands packed full of people, some she recognised, but many who's faces were new to her. She had spotted Finn and Poe in a stand near the bottom; they had smiled kindly at her from across the room. Closely surrounding Ben and fanning outwards halfway up the height of the room was a multitude of round booths filled, she assumed, with members of the Galactic Senate. Whilst she had been surprised at their presence, Ben had explained he wasn't particularly surprised seeing as he had after all committed crimes throughout the galaxy as Kylo Ren.

Trying best to shield her own emotions from Ben she stood and stared at his back now turned towards her. Reaching out to Ben she was surprised to feel a sense of resolve and calm emanating from him. She was sure that at the moment she was more nervous for his life than he was. Hearing three sharp knocks, the room around her the room went deathly silent as Maz took to a podium ahead of Ben.

"We have been debating for quite some time as to your fate Ben Solo," Maz spoke as the crowd silenced. "Many of us in this room new you as a young boy. And many knew you as, and were touched by the actions of the man you became. Kylo Ren.

"There have been many, imaginative suggestions as to how we should deal with you. You can imagine some were rather, barbaric, some less so. But there are also those in this room who believe in second chances.

"Your actions and crimes will never be forgotten by those they touched. Yet your future is not bound to your past. The choices you made as Kylo Ren defined who you were then. But not who you are now. Not who you have the potential to become.

"There has been too much death in the wars that have raged and your death will not atone for the part you have played.

"It is thereby our unanimous decision that you should live young Solo. You have a part yet to play in rebuilding our galaxy.

"You have your parents' legacy to continue. Do not let the sacrifice of your mother be for nothing."

A murmur spread through the assembled crowd as Maz announced their decision. Yet no one made to object it, even those who wished him dead had to accept that Leia's holorecording had impacted them all.

"There are however three conditions," Maz continued after a brief pause as she moved to walk towards Ben, "First, you will be required to provide information pertaining to the First Order for the foreseeable future. Second, you will be fitted with a tracking device for life," she ended as she stood in front of him, "and no getting into any funny business, none of this dodgy smuggling your dad did," she whispered as she winked at him. Turning her back on him she walked back to her podium.

"There is one final condition that is dependent on the one who brought you here," Maz announced as all eyes in the room swivelled to look at Rey who was now summoned to stand next to Ben.

Almost stumbling up the stairs onto the podium Rey caught Ben's eye.

_Are you ok? _She heard him ask her silently.

She didn't answer but nodded her head in reply as she stood to face Maz.

"In light of the service you have done this Galaxy, those gathered here today do not take that which we ask of you lightly," Maz paused as she looked intently at Rey, "We ask that you vouch for Ben Solo's life. He is to be your responsibility and burden. You are both the only known force-users and as such you are the only one who can stand against him if that time should come. You will be bound together for life," Maz explained seriously, "Do you accept this burden?"

Letting her words sink in Rey was certain of her answer as she stood tall to deliver it, "We are already bound for life," she heard people stir around the room at her words, "Yes, I accept."

"And now, Ben Solo, do you accept these conditions?"

"Yes," he responded in a calm and level tone that belied the emotions surging beneath.

"Good," Maz exclaimed, "we shall take you directly to have your tracker fitted and I will discuss our requirement of you then. Other than that, you are free to move about this base at your own free will. You are not a prisoner."

And with that final word Ben and Rey were led, almost in a haze, from the room. Unconscious of those around her Rey hurried up with Ben and entwined her fingers with his. He didn't look at her, but she knew he needed the touch as much as she did.

XOX

"I am not wearing that," Ben exclaimed as he pointed at the device on the counter, eyebrow raised.

"Do you really think you are in a position to argue?" Maz retorted, hands on hips. Ben audibly huffed and dropped his hand to his side in resignation.

"But, it's a good job I have this instead," she held out a clear box which Rey had to lean over to see what was inside. "It's a subcutaneous tracker, it will sit under your collar bone," She explained as she handed it to the droid next to hear. "Come on, shirt off, sit down, I haven't got all day," she motioned for Ben to hurry up.

"Will it need changing?" Rey asked as she took Ben's shirt from him, a red tint rising in her cheeks as she quickly diverted her eyes to the corner of the room. Unfortunately for her, he had noticed and couldn't help smiling.

"Why are you smiling young man?" Maz turned to him but she continued by answering Rey, "For now it is good for twenty years, but we shall see."

The three of them passed into silence while they waited for the droid to implant the tracker. With a slight grunt from Ben it was done.

"What happens now?" Ben asked as he took his shirt from Rey before standing to straighten it over his chest.

"We will require you every day, between nine and three in the command centre. For at least a month. You will be required to give us any information we request about the first order and their dealings. After that, unless something else comes up, you will be free to leave," she explains, "But," she lifts her hand, a finger raised slightly, "it is likely we will require your presence at meetings after that. The senate was willing to allow this to be via hololink so your presence will not be required most of the time," Maz outlines and Ben nods.

"I have one request," Ben suddenly says after a moment.

"Oh, do you now?" Maz exclaims, "Go on," she motions with her hands on her hips.

"I have some personal belongings," Ben pauses as Maz scrunches her eyes up, "that I would like to retrieve from the Finalizer," He knew it was a push, but he thought he might as well ask.

Maz appeared to think for a minute before nodding her head, "Yes, Rey, as long as you go with him, I have no problem with that. But you go after your work here is done. Now, run along the both of you, I have things to do," she finished as she shooed them out of the med bay.

XOX

Ben and Rey walked in silence together back to her quarters, both very aware at the looks they were getting from everyone around them. Ben had been here for two weeks, but today had been the first time most people had seen him.

_People don't seem to feel as angry as I had expected. _Rey mused as they walked along.

_They feel numb. Which is a good way to describe me right now. _Ben replied as he opened the door for Rey to enter ahead of him.

"Numb?" Rey asked as she shook herself out of her jacket.

"I don't really know what I'm feeling Rey," he raked a hand through his hair, "It feels all a bit anti-climatic."

"Please don't tell me you are disappointed with the outcome?" Rey said shocked.

"Not disappointed no," he reassured her with a weak smile, "Shocked, I think. Shocked that I have been given a second chance so easily."

"You are more valuable to them alive than dead," she grimaced.

"They could have imprisoned me," he stated simply.

"And is that what you want. To be in a prison. Behind bars? Away from me." Rey almost shouted at him as she walked away from him.

"No, oh Rey no," he strode to take her in his arms pressing his lips into her hair. "No, I promise," he reassured her, "but you have to understand my shock. Most people who have committed half the crimes I have would have been executed. Not granted freedom."

"But you are not that man anymore," her words muffled by his chest as she snaked her hands around his waist.

"You and I know that. I am just shocked Rey. Believe me, I am happy," his thumb stoked gentle circles on her back.

"I just have no idea how to process what I am feeling" he admitted, "I used to be consumed by rage and hatred, I knew how to manage that, I let them take control of me. But now," he pulled her closer, "it's as if another half of me is alive. I'm being bombarded by feeling I can't control, it's numbing. Like pounding a nerve over and over until you feel nothing."

"You don't need to control it," Rey spoke after several minutes of silence, "don't fight what you are feeling." Deep down Ben knew she was right, but for so long he had killed the part of him that could feel joy, happiness, compassion, tenderness; he was a blind man suddenly given back his sight and seeing the glaring sun for the first time. And Rey had been the catalyst.

"Do you know what I am happiest about the most," he whispered as he nuzzled the soft skin behind her ear.

"No," she replied in a quiet voice.

"I have a future now, a future in which I get to have you," his voice was thick with emotion as he pulled back, hands on her waist as he looked down into her eyes. "No more being alone, just you and me and the world."

Meeting his gaze square on, hand on his chest she repeated the promise he had made to her that morning, "We live in this world together and we leave it as one, that is my promise to you."

Before she could speak another word, his arms were around here, firm and unbending. She felt a rush of emotions from him, a surge of love and yearning, that left her almost limp in his arms. She felt, but almost didn't see as he brought his face close to hers. His lips were soft at first, his delicate caresses electrifying her skin as he kissed her nose, her eyes, the corners of her mouth. His hand in her hair brought her mouth to his in a tender greeting at first, his gentle caresses swiftly growing in intensity as she found herself drawing herself to him guided by his hand, broad on her back. Closer. She couldn't get close enough. His mouth became insistent against hers as her lips parted to his tongue's gentle questions. Her body shivered against him, a soft moan escaping her throat as they explored one another on this new level. Breathlessly Ben pulled back from her to rest his forehead against hers. They burnt the images of one another into their memories, the breathless rise and fall of their chests, the colour that ran beneath their skin, their swollen red lips. An image of a promise, seared into the sole of one another.

* * *

Author's Note:  
Hey everyone :) Some inspiration from Shannon L. Alder for parts of Maz's speech and from a favourite book of mine, Gone with the Wind for other little parts :D I could have given Ben a harder time but I was feeling benevolent XD Plus...I have such grand fluffy plans for these two :) Thank you to the people leaving reviews, I love reading them! Hope you all enjoy!


	7. Chapter 7

In the days following the announcement of Ben's fate Rey had refused to leave his side. Whilst people had accepted his presence with an air of resignation, an undercurrent of distrust remained. Their days were one of routine. They would breakfast in her quarters before she escorted him to the meeting room. Rey would join them for lunch, if she hadn't been included in the meeting, and would then collect him at the end of the day. Whilst Ben was occupied, Rey found herself working with the mechanics to fix the many ships that were now coming and going. She found the work cathartic and a welcome distraction from worrying about Ben. Despite his reassurances that he was fine and the meetings had been nothing but boring, Rey knew he found them stressful, she could feel the tension leaking off of him when he left the room; she thought better of pointing this out to him and didn't ever push the matter.

Rubbing grease from her hands using the harsh cloth of her shirt, Rey made her way hastily towards the meeting room to meet him. She was late. Her and BB-8 had gotten side-tracked trying to fix the engine of a Passenger Freighter that had just landed.

Over the last few days she had noticed that whilst people were not ignoring her, they were not as friendly towards her has they once had been. She could understand why but was saddened by it all the same. This had been her first family and she couldn't help but feel they thought she had betrayed them. Not wanting Ben to pick up on her feelings she shook herself from her ruminations. She couldn't undo what he had done, or the fact she had brought him here, but she was determined to make people see the real Ben, the one she knew.

Seeing people were already leaving the meeting room Rey hurried inside as she pushed passed several Generals that greeted her warmly. Smiling broadly back at them she couldn't help but notice the feelings of the room were generally positive. A good meeting, she hoped.

"Ah Rey. Good." Maz spoke as she beckoned her over to where she was standing with Ben. "I was just telling Ben that I have had several trunks delivered to your room, I hope you don't mind?"

"Not at all," she said as she came to stand next to Ben, her hand lightly grazing his in greeting. Ben smiled tightly down at her. She couldn't quite read his emotions. "Where have they come from?"

"Leia left a will that instructed they be delivered to you," Maz explained as she inclined her head to Ben. That was all Rey needed to know to hear to explain Ben's emotions. After a moment of silence Maz continued as she made to move off from them, "Ben," she motioned to him, "You did good today," she smiled as she put her hand on his arm before she left them.

Rey watched silently as Maz left them before turning to look up from Ben, an eyebrow raised, "Such praise," she smiled, "What did you do?"

"Oh, well," he ran a hand through his hair, "Made some suggestions on how to tackle getting into the First Order archives."

"I feel like there is more to this story than you…" Rey started before Poe clasped her shoulder.

"Did you know he was a Master hacker as well?" Poe asked Rey, a crooked smile on his face, "Our guys have been trying for weeks to get into the main frame."

Rey laughed, "No, not a clue."

"I don't know if you could it hacking if I am breaking into my own system," Ben pointed out, "I had no idea it would work," Ben shrugged.

"Well whatever you did, it worked. You will have to give our guys some lessons," he jested, "See you at dinner?" he asked as he strode out of the room.

Glancing at Ben, who gave a barely perceptible nod, Rey turned and told Poe they would see him at dinner. Rey was surprised, he had managed to find multiple excuses not to join them for dinner so far. Turning back to Ben, Rey once again raising an eyebrow in question.

"I really had no idea if it would work. I could have initiated a self-destruct," he laughed.

"What?" Rey exclaimed as they headed to her quarters, "What would you have done if you had?"

"I would have thought of something," he smirked causing people near him to jump at the unexpected sound.

As they walked quietly through the bustling corridors, Rey couldn't help thinking fondly that his attitude resembled his fathers. She was learning more about Ben every day but she knew she had only scratched the surface of who he was, it was as much a journey of discovery for her as it was for him. However, she had learnt very quickly that he had traits from both Han and Leia, charismatic, jet stubborn.

Before she knew it, Ben was letting her in through the door into her quarters. Stepping into the room allowing him to close the door she stopped upon seeing two large silver trunks placed in the middle of the living space.

"Do you have any idea what these are?" Rey asked as she ran her hand over the smooth surface of one. But Ben didn't respond immediately as he stood staring at them as he shrugged his jacket off.

"They were my mothers," he spoke at length pulling a chair up next to them, "we used to use some like this when we were traveling."

She couldn't quite gauge what he was feeling; a mixture of trepidation and oddly happiness. It felt like she was intruding on a private moment between mother and son, she would stay as long as he wanted her there.

The sight of the trunks caused Ben's chest to tighten at the memories that flooded his mind. Whilst he had supressed so much of his past, his parents and his childhood deep in a corner of his mind, it amazed him how now the sight, smell or sound of certain things brought memories careening to the front of his brain.

He hadn't seen these trunks for years but he couldn't help experiencing an overwhelming feeling of his mother's presence at the sight of them. Leaning forward, forearms resting on his knees he flipped open the panel on the top of one of the trunks. Without thinking he pinned in six digits. a few short beeps the trunk unfastened.

"How did you know the code?" Rey asked quietly.

"A feeling," Ben muttered as his hands moved to lift the lid, "I was born in 5 ABY in Hanna City on Chandrilla. My mother was sentimental like that," he smiled weakly as he lifted the lid.

Balancing the lid back on its hinges, Ben surveyed the contents of the trunk. It was packed with copious boxes and packages wrapped in deep purple velvet and organza. He remembered these fabrics from their home on Chandrilla. Placed in the centre of the trunk was a thin letter with his name written in delicate scripture on the front. Taking a steadying breath Ben reached forward to pick the letter up in his fumbling hands. Staring down, his thumb traced over his name before he turned the letter over to see his mother's family wax seal affixed at the opening. As he went to break the seal, he experienced an overwhelming need for privacy.

Turning to look at Rey, he didn't need to say anything, his emotions were written through the air.

"Nudge me when you want me to come back," she smiled gently, placing a soft kiss on his head before she turned to give him the privacy he had silently asked for.

Turning back to the letter he broke open the seal and carefully unfolded the fragile letter composed of two sheets of paper. It shocked him to realise one was in his mother's hand and one his fathers. Whilst training with Luke they had exchanged letters, but his father had never written an entire letter to him, it was usually a couple of lines hastily added at the end of one of his mothers. He had treasured those letters.

Placing his father's letter on the floor he began with the letter from his mother. It was a single side of writing written in an ornate hand so recognisable as hers. Whilst computers and datapads had been commonplace in their home, Leia had always taken time to write certain documents by hand. Watching her as a child he had thought it a kind of artistry and it was from her he had learnt to love calligraphy.

_My Dearest Son, Ben, _

_I had hoped one day I might have been able to pass these items on to you in person. But, if you are reading this letter, I will have passed on. _

_Until my dying breath I always had hope. Hope you would return to us. That our son was not past the point of no return. But your father and I failed you in so many ways, we were absent when you needed us the most, we were blind to Snoke. _

_Whilst, there are so many things I wish I could change and so many things I wish I had said to you, there is one thing you need to hear from me. And that is that I forgive you. I don't need to put the deed on paper and give it life again, but know I forgive you with every ounce of my being. They day I gave birth to you I forgave you everything you could ever do. _

_Whatever your future holds for you, always remember where you came from, remember that you were loved and cherished and wanted. _

_I had longed to hold your face in my hands once more but I shall carry your memory and my love for you always.  
_

_Forever and always,  
_

_Your loving Mother.  
_

He read the letter over and over as if to convince himself he hadn't read it wrong. As he read it, it was as if he could hear her voice speaking it aloud. At each read the words gradually sank in as the full meaning behind what she was saying hit him as if he had crashed a ship straight into the core of a planet. He hadn't realised he had started to cry until he heard a soft patter as a tear fell onto the letter. He watched as the ink slowly bled into the dome of water and swirled chaotically throughout, the swirling ink mirroring the tumultuous emotions that threatened to take over him.

Taking a deep ragged breath, he laid her letter down and picked up the one written from his father. In contrast to his mother's elegant art-like script, Han's writing was jagged and hurried. A similar length to the previous letter, this letter was long by his father's usual standards. He could imagine his mother had stood over him whilst he wrote it.

_Kid, _

_I know what you must be thinking. That your mother made me write this. Whilst she might have suggested I do it, surprisingly she actually isn't stood over me. Never thought you would hear that did you. _

Wiping at his eyes Ben managed a small laugh as he imagined the words coming out of his father's mouth.

_I would like to joke that this whole trunk thing is a waste of time and that nobody is going to want this pile of trash. But the truth is, it isn't a pile of trash. These are the remnants of our family, of our history. People all over the galaxy will always remember the names of Han and Leia, but only you have the memories of us as mum and dad. _

_Yes, we failed you, in more ways than one. But we never gave up hope  
_

_I hope that the kid I raised, Ben Solo, my son, is somewhere in you still. That you can look through what we have left you and remember you were always loved.  
_

_If you ever have a kid of your own, don't Kriff it up like I did; don't be afraid of failing. _

_Dad._

Using his sleeve to wipe away the tears on his face and those that had tracked down his neck, he folded the letters up carefully before laying them on the sideboard. Resting his hand atop the letters, almost reverently, he took a shaky breath as he buried his head in his hands. He was overwhelmed and exhausted by the emotions ripping through him. He didn't know how to process them and he had a bubbling urge to destroy something as his hand flexed instinctively to the now absent lightsabre at his waist. Taking a deep breath, he concentrated on his breathing. In. Out. In. Out. And he thought about Rey. He needed Rey.

Minutes later he was shaken from his state as Rey quietly came in behind him.

"Ben, I felt…You were angry?" She asked as he gathered her to him, burying his head in her stomach.

"It has passed," he managed to get out, still concentrating on his breathing as he felt the torrent of emotions slowing in her presence.

"The letters?" she stroked his hair as she held him tightly. Ben nodded into her stomach, not quite in control of himself.

"From Leia?" He nodded in reply.

"And my Father." He added as he slowly pulled back to look at her.

"Oh Ben," she crooned as she knelt down to hug him tightly around his waist.

"How do I process this? Where do I start?" He asked in a daze.

"We start here," She answered after a moment of thought.

"We?" he searched her face.

"Yes we," she repeated as she dried the few remaining tears from his red eyes.

"You were not the one to kill you own father," Ben almost spat in self-disgust, "you didn't kill countless people with your own bare hands," he shouted holding his hands away from him as he shot to his feet. "How you can bare to be with me, let alone look at me," his shook his head, face contorted in pain as tears fell in anger, "I don't deserve their forgiveness, or yours," he drove his fist into a wall opening the almost-healed wounds on his fist. "I don't deserve you," his voice broke as he slumped against the wall.

He felt, rather than saw Rey move towards him and kneel next to him.

"Ben, look at me. Please," she entreated, her hand gently on his cheek. "No one said this was going to be easy. But know now. I am not going anywhere," she said stubbornly, "This bond between us. I don't understand it for one moment, but it brought us together for a reason. We are a dyad for a reason. We are two halves of the same person. We are one. I have no intention of severing my soul again," she moved to hold his face in her hands, her eyes firm and determined, "I am here because I choose to be. I am with you because _you _are the one I have chosen to be with. Your fears are mine, your joys are mine, your sorrow, your love. All of it is mine. And my heart is yours," before he could digest what she had said she sealed her promise to him with the gentlest of kisses that felt to him as if she was speaking to his soul.

Pulling back from her there was no argument to be had. No debate. Her words were final.

Staring with soft eyes Ben continued after a moment of silence, "My armour may be gone, but you have built me a hut with a roof. I don't feel so naked to the world with you here," he spoke, his voice heavy with emotion.

"One day, we will do better than a hut," she smiled.

* * *

Author's Note:

Hey everyone! I have up to Chapter 30 planned out and about six more chapters written. I am going to try and keep them roughly this length, but I am prone to getting carried away!

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed the story so far, I love reading them! Parts of this were inspired by some scenes from the amazing Outlander series (let me know if you can spot it!), if you haven't read/watched it you really should :D


	8. Chapter 8

Author's note: I just wanted to point out I have changed the story rating to T. :)

* * *

It wasn't until a couple of days later that Ben had brought up the trunks to Rey. Ben had felt strong enough to go for a walk and so they had found themselves strolling quietly, hand-in-hand, through the forest not far from the base. At the time Rey had simply pushed them to one side in the living area, but she could tell Ben was curious about their contents. He could barely keep his eyes off of them when they ate breakfast. She hadn't been surprised when he had asked if she would sit with him while he opened one later that evening.

Now back in her quarters, Rey levitated the first large trunk into the space Ben had cleared in the living room. Grabbing a couple of cushions Rey plopped herself down next to him as he opened up the trunk. Placing her hand lightly on his thigh in response to the wave of trepidation that leaked off of him she watched as he lifted out the first box.

Unwrapping the velvet Ben revealed a black box with the words _Solo-Organa _inlayed across the top in a white lustrous mineral. Upon opening the lid six rows of copper-coloured disks, small enough to fit in his palm, were revealed.

"What are they Ben?" She asked as she saw a smile tug at the corner of his eyes as he picked up the first one.

"They are holoprojectors. They record and display holograms," He explained, as the one in his palm crackled to life.

Rey's heart soared as she watched the first short video play. It was of Han and Leia on their wedding day. Leia was a sight to behold. She wore a dazzling white gown that plunged in the back, her hair styled into a loose bun at the back of her neck held in place by a comb encrusted in glinting gems. She was beautiful, radiant, everything a bride should be. But it was Han that Rey couldn't stop watching. With a roguish smile and glint in his eyes he watched every move Leia made; he was magnetized by her. They were surrounded by smiling and laughing faces, some, such as Luke, Chewie and Lando, whom she recognised. It amused her that this was the only time she had ever seen Luke smile.

Before they knew it the holoprojection paused momentarily before images of a lush green planet flickered into view. She had never seen anything so soft yet severe in its beauty; apart from maybe Ben she thought briefly. The sound of the wind and crashing waves were loud in their ears as views of monumental jagged cliffs rising steeply from brilliant turquoise waters came into focus. The cliffs were indented by inlets, all cloaked in black sand which formed hummocky vegetated sand dunes. Waves rushed demandingly in and out of caves that punctuated the water line, water being erupted out of invisible blow holes in the cliffs above.

"Ben where is this?" Rey asked as she continued to watch the recording. She was enthralled and transfixed by the raw beauty of the place.

"Orala," he answered, "this is where my parents spent time after they wed."

"It's beautiful," she said in amazement as she smiled at the image of an aquatic creature that dipped and dived and danced amongst the waves. "Have you ever been?"

"Yes, when I was a boy," he smiled fondly. "Those creatures," he pointed to the recording, "they are called Orbies. I remember swimming with them, they are incredibly playful and very inquisitive."

"You swam in that water, with them?" She asked excitedly.

Ben nodded as he looked at her, "Can you swim?"

"Well I fell in a pool on Ahch-To and I managed to get out, if that counts? Other than that, not much water sitting around on Jakku," she shrugged as the recording flickered to an end and Ben placed the plate back in the box.

"Do people live there?"

"Not anymore," he shut the box and put it to the side, "Many years ago it was a Jedi stronghold if you like, for training and worship. From what I know of the place, much of it is in ruins today. My parents used to use it as an escape, less so when I was older," he explained as he knelt and pulled out another box.

She watched as Ben pulled out a larger box wrapped in ornately embroidered purple velvet and started to unwrap it. However, as soon as he started it was as if he had touched something hot; no sooner had he taken it out of the trunk, he placed it hastily aside. Rey had felt an intense surge of sorrow course through him; he obviously wasn't ready to face what he knew was inside.

"How are you doing?" she didn't need to ask but wanted him to know she was there.

"I think maybe just one more box this evening," he almost grimaced.

"There's no rush?"

"No, I know. Some things I'm not ready to look at. But I am curious about what they have saved," he dove back into the trunk as Rey chuckled.

This box was much smaller and Rey laughed as he gave it a slight shake before pulling off the wrappings revealing a plain, slightly dented wooden box.

"They saved them," he almost whispered as he pulled open the stiff lid. Rey sat in silence as he neatly laid out the contents of the box in what appeared to be a well-practised routine.

"You know I used to love calligraphy?" he peaked a quick look at her as he picked one of the pens up and fell into an old habit of rolling the pen over the backs of his fingers and into his hand. "My mother taught me and the Luke encouraged it at the temple. I used to copy passages from books in the library and write out his teachings," a slight frown marked his brow, "I used to draw as well."

"Could you draw me something?"

"Perhaps. I am a little rusty," he smiled as he carefully placed the pens back in the box and packed up the trunk.

"Are you feeling up to going to the mess hall for dinner?" she asked as they got to their feet. Instead of an answer, he replied by pulling her to him, planting a soft kiss on her lips, placing her arms around his neck.

"What was that for?" she smiled twirling his hair between her fingers.

"Do. I need. A reason. To. Kiss. You?" He punctuated his reply with kisses laid along her delicate jaw and down the tender skin of her neck. She couldn't help the shiver that ran across her skin as she felt his lips press against her quickening pulse. Her head fell back as his kisses continued down and across her exposed collar bone, her hands tightening in his hair in silent encouragement. A small moan escaped from deep within her as she felt his hands slide lower down her back pulling her to him.

Almost before she could take another ragged breath, she felt cold air invade the space where he had stood. Frozen in place she flashed her eyes open and glared at Ben who stood a good metre away from her, a smug smile stretched across his face.

"Shall we go to dinner in half and hour then? I need a quick shower," he informed her as he strode toward the bathroom before she could reply.

Rey might have been put out had she not been fully aware that he was just as affected as she was.

XOX

It had been the first time Ben had gone to dinner in the mess hall. He had been putting it off for days now and whilst Rey hadn't pushed it, he knew she wanted him to spend time with her friends and around other people.

His attitude was, as long as no one tried to kill him, it had been a success. And whilst the room had gone momentarily deathly silent at his appearance, he had survived the encounter having experienced only mental daggers being thrown at him. He could cope with that.

They had sat with Poe, Finn and a woman called Jannah who he hadn't met until that evening. He hadn't offered much in the way of conversation, spending most of his time observing the group. He had to admit he could understand why Rey liked the two men; they were both easy going and spoke passionately about things they cared about. Observing the two men he had made a mental note to seek them out to apologise for his treatment of them in the past. He didn't expect them to accept it, but he felt he needed to make the first move. For Rey if nothing else.

Upon returning to her quarters Rey excused herself to take a shower. Standing on the balcony he could hear the water turn on. He could just imagine how the water soaked through her hair, each droplet gliding effortlessly over her tanned skin. The droplets joining together and dividing in tiny rivers that traced along the curve of her shoulder, down the valley between her breasts, over the smooth planes of her stomach. Kriff. He was jealous of the water. Raking a hand through his hair he took a deep breath. He always found this time of the day a little, difficult. There were so many feeling he wanted to express to her, but he was blind when it came to the language of emotional expression; it was a slow awakening. But for now, he needed a distraction.

Turning back into the living room he scanned the room for something to do. Then the thought hit him. His Calligraphy set. Yes. It had always been a soothing activity. Retrieving the set, he sat down at the small table and set to laying the pens out. It had to be done precisely. The pens had to be laid out, a fingers width apart, from left to right in increasing nib size at the top of the table; the ink was then placed on the far right. Picking up one of the pens, a sense of familiarity rushed over him. However, it felt somewhat foreign in his large hand, not like it had done those years before when the pens used to feel like an extension of his own hand. Shaking his head slightly he dipped the nib in the ink and started to write out a book passage he had memorised. It was slow going and he was out of practice, but the sound was familiar and soothing—a lullaby from ancient times.

"As easy as you remember?" Rey asked as she padded into the room ringing her hair out.

Ben was so lost in the moment he startled at the sound of her voice knocking over the ink as he leapt to his feet.

"Shavit," Ben exclaimed as he looked around for a cloth. Coming up empty he pulled his shirt from him using it to mop up the ink that streamed across the table.

Suddenly he froze as he felt the light touch of Rey's fingertips trace up his spine. She had never touched him with his shirt off; not whilst he was conscious anyway. It was electrifying, as if her touch was giving life to dead cells. He took a slow step back from the table as her hands continued to graze his skin. From his hip to his broad shoulder. Down to the curve in his back and then slowly up his spine. An age seemed to pass as she traversed the length of his back as if she was counting the vertebrae. His blood boiled as her fingers traced the veins in his arm from his shoulder to wrist and back up along the tender skin of his inner elbow. As she moved around him, she dropped her hands. But he could feel her eyes on him. He was burning. He wanted to take her in his arms but this was her time. Her chance to explore his body, to burn his image into her mind. It was beautiful torture. Lifting her hand, she lightly traced the curve of his hip and along the band of his trousers, her hand meeting the soft hair below his navel before she traced its vanishing path upwards. He stared down at her as she closed the space between them, her fingers tracing the muscles in his arms as she placed the lightest of kisses to the space over his heart. His fists clenched as she traced kisses up along the faint scar she had given him before following her path back down. A small groan broke from deep in his chest as she kissed his nipple, her exquisite lips enveloping it as her hand grazed over the delicate skin of his other.

He couldn't hold himself back anymore and before he could prevent another guttural moan escaping his chest, his lips were on hers as he picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist. His lips were urgent on hers as he stumbled to pin her back against the wall. His body was alive with feelings he had no idea how to, or desire, to control. Pressing himself against her his free hand pulled her face to him, his fingers knotting in her damp hair. They're bodies, they're souls, were not strangers to one another, they met each other as equals. He tasted her mouth as he traced his tongue along her lips, a growl escaping him as he felt her tongue meet his. A deep hum escaped her and it was all he could do to contain his barely controlled desire for her.

Pulling back from the wall, his lips not leaving hers, Ben carried her to her bed gently lowering her down as he slowed their kiss. Her hands were hot on his bare skin pulling him closer as he rained open lipped kisses on the delicate skin of her neck. Pausing to suck gently over her racing pulse he felt the crescendo building within him as she gasped, his name falling from her lips. Kriff the way she said his name. He needed to touch her, to feel her skin against his. Lifting his free hand, he retraced the path of the water droplets down her neck, between the valley of her breast and slowly to the edge of her night shirt. Grazing his fingers along the bare skin that had beckoned him, he felt her tense barely perceptibly.

She wasn't ready. Taking a shuddering breath, he steadied his hand and retreated, reaching to cup her face with his hand as he kissed her languidly.

Pulling back breathlessly he rested forehead on hers. When he finally opened his eyes, she was staring at him. Her eyes wide and dark, lips pouted and bruised. Kriff she was driving him mad.

"You're beautiful," he said huskily stroking her cheek, smiling when he saw her face flush with colour. "Truly beautiful," he repeated, "my beautiful Rey." She didn't answer him but simply lifted her chin to plant her own wordless reply on his lips.

XOX

Waking with a start, he sat bolt upright. From his bed in the living room he could hear, and feel, the reason for having woken up so abruptly. Rey. He could hear her soft whimpering sounds. She was having a nightmare. Pushing quickly out of bed he strode into her room. She was restless, her body thrashing around under her sheets, a thin film of perspiration showing on her brow as the moonlight hit her skin.

Kneeling by her bed he reached out to smooth her hair speaking soft words to her, telling her he was there. He had no idea what to do, it had always been him having the nightmares. He had been plagued with them his entire life; they had become a constant companion of his over the years, until recently.

His heart clenched as she continued to thrash, her back arching from the bed, body contorted, as a strangled cry escaped her. He could feel the pain she was experiencing. He had felt it at the hands of Snoke, the tides of electricity that had rampaged through his body from the force lightning.

Out of pure instinct he lowered himself down on the edge of her bed and did his best to gather her thrashing body to his chest. Reaching out to the force he enveloped her, trying to dampen the feelings that were clawing their way through her. She was there, he could feel her, but she was so far from him, shrouded in a black fog that clutched at her.

Slowly, as he spoke her name over and over, a plea for help to those who had passed, she began to still in his arms and the heavy fog subsided. As her breathing became less ragged and her body began to cool, he continued to speak her name, telling her she was not alone, that he was there. He would always be there.

"Ben?" her voice was weak.

"I'm here. You're ok. Just sleep. I'm here," he spoke into her hair.

"Don't go. Please," she whimpered.

"I'm not going anywhere," he promised as he nestled her against him.

It was the best sleep he could remember.

XOX

Rey woke up early the following morning as the forest's morning chorus floated through the window.

Stirring slowly, she froze for a split second before she remembered fragments of the night before. Ben was here. She must have been having a nightmare. She recalled coming briefly out from the fog to the sound of his voice calling her before she had drifted into a deep sleep.

Lifting her head, she met his half open ones. "Morning," she smiled, placing a kiss on his arm where her head rested.

"How do you feel?" his eyes searched hers.

"Better for you being here," she admitted as she relaxed into his arms.

"I have a request. No, a demand," Ben stated firmly as Rey nodded, "I want us to share a bed."

Rey stiffened and started to pull back from him, her eyes wide, "Ben, I, um…"

"No, don't misunderstand me," he interrupted as he calmly stoked her back, "I want that, one day," he smiled wistfully, "but I know we are not there yet. Neither of us are," she relaxed as he spoke, "but I want to be next to you, to comfort you when you have nightmares. To be able to talk to you long into the early morning. To hold you in my arms and to wake up next to you," he stoked her cheek, "I don't want to be in the room next door. I want to be with you," he finished with his voice just above a whisper.

Rey basked in the intensity of his eyes; she was drowning in their depth. And she went willingly. "I will have it arranged later today," she spoke as she bridged the small space between them and placed the lightest of kisses on his mouth.

They lay in one another's arms until they were rudely called to start their day as sounds from outside invaded their solitude.

* * *

Author's note: Hi Everyone! Hope you all enjoyed the above. Thank you to those who have reviewed the story so far, I love reading them :D No specific inspiration for this one, I'm just setting things up for future adventures :) Up next is one of my favourite chapters I have written so far :) I promise more fluff, hopefully the next chapter will be up mid-week! Enjoy!


	9. Chapter 9

He knew he should be grateful. But the truth of it was he was bored. Bored senseless. For twenty-five days—yes, he was counting—he had sat through meeting after meeting, answering any and all questions pertaining to the First Order. He was itching to do something. He was not a man of slumber, he liked to be doing something. He needed to start training again; his body was aching for it. In his present situation—hunched uncomfortably at a conference table—he would feel better if they would just let him pace around the room, but after his first attempt Maz had suggested some might find it _intimidating _to have him _prowling _around the room. He had tried to protest that he was not _prowling_, but Maz had simply raised her eyebrows. He knew her well enough by now, that was a no.

Zoning back into the conversation Ben's ears pricked up and he sat forward, causing the two generals next to him to shrink slightly. Ben sighed shaking his head briefly before returning his attention to the debate.

"There are six known Storm Trooper training bases," General Sinten said, "We know that..."

Ben cut in, "No, there are not six bases," he paused, "There are actually ten, the troops gets moved between them as they progress from children," he cringed, "through to young adults when they are seen as battle ready."

"In addition to the ones we know, where else?" General Sinten asked.

Standing up Ben reached across the table, indicating on the map displayed in front of him as he spoke, "Garel, Atterra Brava and Alpha and Hays Minor," he sat back down crossing his arms. "Hays Minor is where the youngest children are kept."

"How young?" the General asked.

"They can be as young as four," Finn responded from across the room. "I was about that age when I was taken, I think. But I don't know where I was taken from."

"There are records you know?" Ben said at length causing everyone to snap to him. "There are records detailing where each child has been taken from. I found out about them only recently. The recruitment was not something I learnt about until I became Supreme Leader."

"You expect us to believe that?" An elderly woman, tall with sharp features, spat from the other end of the table.

"Believe it or not. It was not something I directly controlled. And for what it is worth, it wasn't too my liking. The recruitment process, or the training."

"They were your men," General Sinten pointed out.

"Yes and no. They wouldn't have dared go against a command I gave, but Hux was in charge of the army, in its details." He paused before leaning forward again. "We could repatriate them?"

Everyone stared at him open-mouthed.

"It would take a while. I imagine many of the bases are in disarray, but the sooner people get to them and control them, it is possible. It definitely should be tried with the children," He continued unperturbed by those at the table. "Finn should be I charge," and with that he sat back to watch again.

"Yes, I want to do that. Or re-training the troops. Many of them may not want to go home. We still need and army. What if we gave them a choice? Repatriate or volunteer? Regardless, they will need some reconditioning, some may be beyond our help, but we should try," Finn rambled on as ideas sprang to life in his mind.

It was Maz who spoke first after a moments thoughtful silence, "Are you happy to do this Finn?" she asked tapping her fingers on the table, "It is a big project."

"Yes, I want to do it. I'm the right person to do it, I was once one of them," he proclaimed eagerly.

"Good. I want a report outlining your plan in a week. Now I think that will be all for now, let's break and the rest of us will reconvene at 1800 hours." And with that the room departed.

Ben was one of the first up and out of his seat. He was eager to get back to Rey wherever she might be. Arms deep in engine oil he thought fondly to himself. But before he could make it out the door to momentary freedom, he felt a hand on his arm. Spinning he came face-to-face with Finn.

"Hey, um sorry I didn't mean to startle you," Finn apologised as he took a step back.

"I was in a world of my own," Ben straightened, hands in his pockets, "Can I help?"

"I just wanted to thank you. For suggesting me for this project I mean. It, it means a lot," Finn moved from foot to foot as he looked Ben in the eye.

"You know the system better than anyone, it was logical." Ben stated.

"Well thanks," he clapped Ben on the arm and turned to leave but he paused when he heard Ben cough lightly.

"Finn, I. Do you have a minute to walk with me?" Ben motioned awkwardly to the door, hands still in his pockets.

"Yeah, lead the way," Finn frowned but fell into step as Ben started down the quiet corridor.

Ben was silent for a moment as he racked his brain looking for the right words. "I have been meaning to get you on your own," he started as he stared dead ahead, "I wanted to apologise for my past actions towards you. The wound. Everything," he made an arc with hand as if to imitate the strike of his lightsabre as it had sliced along Finn's back.

Taking a breath, he snuck a sideways glance at Finn who was staring emotionlessly at the floor, "I don't expect to be forgiven," he smiled wryly, "but I want you to know I am sorry. I can't undo it all, but I want to move forward. I am trying to be a better man; I want to do right by the few who have and do believe in me. I know how much you mean to Re..." Ben trailed off as he noticed Finn had stopped a few steps behind him. Turning he Found Finn looking at him seriously, his hand outstretched.

"I don't know if I can forgive you," Finn said honestly, "but I am willing to move forwards," he finished as he moved his hand slightly. Ben looked between Finn's face and hand slightly shocked. Of all the reactions he had played through his mind, this hadn't been one of them. Stretching outwards invisibly he could feel the truth behind Finn's word, there were no lies or hidden agendas in his words. Taking a step forward Ben reached to take Finn's hand.

"Thank you," Ben said thickly as he met Finn's eyes. Finn nodded his head and turned on his heal but paused several metres down the corridor.

"We are having a lads evening tonight, friendly game of Sabacc and some drinks. You're welcome to join." Finn shrugged.

"You are inviting me to a games evening?" Ben raised his eyebrows. Without showing it, he was completely taken back by the offer.

"Look you don't have to come. It was just an offer," Finn waved his hand in dismissal.

"Oh, you don't know what you have gotten yourself into," Ben replied with a glint in his eyes and a slight lop sided smile on his face as he moved to leave.

"Oh, right, well see you there then," Finn was left standing in the corridor, "Hangar 22, 2000 hours," Finn shouted after him.

"What was that about?" Poe asked as he came down the corridor to stand next to Finn, watching as Ben disappeared around the corner.

"Oh nothing," Finn rubbed his temple, "But I just asked Ben to join us tonight at Sabacc"

"Man no, really, why did you do that?" Poe exclaimed shoving his hands under his arms.

"I'm trying to be _nice_ Poe," Finn huffed, but instead of Poe being cross, he burst into laughter. "What are you laughing at?"

"Well, hang on," he spoke as he caught his breath, "I have it under good authority, that that man is one of the best at Sabacc," Poe laughed even harder as Finn's mouth opened and closed silently, "looks like you have just lost all those sweeties you have been stashing away," Poe laughed as he slapped Finn on the back and dragged him down the corridor.

XOX

"Rey?" Ben called upon walking through the door. He knew she was there, but he liked to give her warning, she had managed to cut her head open headbutting the wing of a cruiser the last time he had accidently snuck up on her.

"I'm out here," she called from their small balcony.

Taking of his jacket and laying it neatly across the back of a chair, Ben walked out on the balcony to find Rey sat bathed in the evening sun, cross legged with a large book laid open across her lap.

"How has your day been?" He asked casually as he bent to press a soft his to her forehead.

"Oh uneventful. BB-8 and I have been fixing a couple of ships that are scheduled to leave tomorrow. Nothing exciting, well actually," She smiled as she got up and padded over to sit on the railing next to where Ben stood. "BB-8 and I had a great time fitting in an electromotive stabilizer. Very fiddly," a satisfied grin stretching from ear to ear.

"From the state of you," he smiled examining the oil clinging to her face, "It looks like you did have fun," he grinned as he stole a brief kiss.

"Hmmm, oh yes," her eyes fluttered open, "Yes it was fun, but I do need to get cleaned up before we head to dinner. If you feel like going to the mess hall?" She asked over her shoulder as she moved toward the door.

"Well actually, do you mind if we have dinner brought here?"

"Rough day?" Rey came over to him wrapping her arms around his waist.

"No, but if I say yes does that mean I can keep you here longer," he teased as he nuzzled her hair.

"You don't need an excuse," she pulled back laughing as she wiped the grease from his nose. "But really, how was your day?"

"Boring as usual. But," he paused, "Finn has asked me to play Sabacc with the _lads _tonight."

Rey's head shot up at his announcement, "Brilliant, that's brilliant," her face lit up and Ben couldn't resist capturing her lips for the briefest of moments. "What made him ask?" she continued after he released her.

"I suggested that he be the one to oversee repatriation and re-training of some of the storm troopers."

"That is the best idea. You have no idea how that will make him feel Ben. Thank you," she exclaimed as she gave him a hearty squeeze.

"You don't mind me going?"

"No, never. It's good for you to make some friends," she leant up and pecked him on the lips, "Now I am going to clean up before dinner, can you order it for say, half an hour's time?"

Ben simply smiled and nodded in response. Turning to lean on the railings he looked out over the forest as he thought about what she had just said. Friends. He had never really had a friend. No until Rey, but that was a bit different. He supposes he did have friends when he was younger, he just couldn't quite remember what it felt like. He hated to admit it, but he was nervous about the evening ahead of him. He was the outsider, on every level but he knew Finn had offered him a hand, and Rey was excited for him, so he had to give it a shot.

Turning around he noticed the book Rey had been reading. It was one of the books from his trunk. Reaching down he picked up the heavy tome and smiled. It was the visual printed dictionary of planets. Holding the spine in his hand the book fell open to Naboo. She had been devouring the book over the last few days, but she always returned to Naboo; she loved the green. Tucking that piece of information away he softly shut the book before walking back inside.

XOX

As he came to the hanger entrance, Ben was nervous. He had not been this nervous since he was a child. Probably when his mother had found him playing Sabacc with Han's smuggling friends on the Falcon. Taking a deep steadying breath Ben slapped the panel on the right and the doors slid open. Taking a step in he looked around before hearing Finn call from his right.

"Hey, Ben, over here," Finn shouted across the Hangar filled with a multitude of different crafts and speeders.

"You didn't invite him, oh Finn you kriffling idiot,"

"I told him Lando, I told him it was a mistake," Poe laughed.

"You realise that…" Lando started.

"That he is one of the best at Sabacc, yes I know, Poe told me," Finn huffed shooting Poe daggers as he began to deal out the cards.

"I learnt from the best," Ben added as he sat down on an empty seat.

"Well what can I say, I won't argue with that buddy," Lando grinned as he passed Ben a bottle of Phattro with a small nod.

Ben accepted the drink and returned the small nod to Lando. He had been incredibly close to Lando growing up, he looked up to him more of an uncle than anything else; Unca Wanwo he had called him. Rey had told him he had visited several times when he was out of it, but he hadn't had a chance to speak to him properly. He had many things to say to him, to apologise for, he knew it would take time.

"Hey Ben, what's your hand total?" Finn asked breaking Ben from his thoughts.

"Oh, twelve," he responded without looking at his cards.

"Hey," Poe raised a finger to Ben across the table, "None of that," he waves his hand dramatically in the air, "stuff, ok. Play fair," Poe warned, a glint in his eye.

"Ben never plays fair," Lando laughed as Chewie rumbled in agreement.

Bens mouth picked up at the corner as he took a swig from his bottle, "No, I apologise. I won't do any of that," he imitated Poe's movement, in a less dramatic fashion. "but I'll still beat you," He grinned as he sat back.

XOX

Rey woke abruptly to the noise of a chair being shoved across the stone floor followed by the sound of muffled profanities from the next room. She could tell it was Ben, she could sense him, but his hum was a bit hazy, not so distinct. Grabbing a robe, Rey padded to the door and flicked on the lights to the next room. Coming to stand in the doorway, Rey stifled a laugh as she examined the scene before her.

Laying on a heap in front of her, was Ben, the furniture around him shoved out of the way by his long limbs that splayed out either side of him at some unusual angles.

"Are you drunk?" She laughed smiling down on him.

"No," Ben managed to respond, "I most certainly am not drunk," he continued as he weakly lifted and pointed a finger in her direction.

"Ben Solo, I think you are," she grinned as she grabbed his profred finger and came to crouch next to him.

"Perhaps a little," he indicated the amount by bringing his thumb and index fingers close together, his face scrunched in concentration.

"Did you have a good evening and morning?" she asked as she started to help him up from the floor.

"I won," he grinned as he went to grab her waist but she moved quickly out of the way as she managed to manoeuvre his body down onto the sofa.

"No, you need some water and sleep," she smoothed his hair back from his eyes, she couldn't help grinning at him, "don't move." Scuffling to the bathroom Rey came back with a glass of water and a small vile.

"Drink this," she held out the vile, "and then all of this," she finished handing him the glass.

"What's that?" he asked wrinkling his nose as he inspected the vile.

"Hemchar Root, from Maz. It should cure your hangover so you can function tomorrow," she explained.

"No, I'm not..."

"Yes, you are," she held the vile open for him. It was all she could do to stifle another laugh as Ben glared up at her and drank the vile without breaking her gaze. "And now the water," he complied and drank the water.

"I'm not _that_ drunk," he exclaimed as he went to take his own shoes off only avoiding a second re-acquaintance with the floor because Rey caught him in time.

"I can't wait to show you this memory tomorrow," she chuckled as she removed his shoes and lay him back on the sofa. "Sleep and I will see you in a few hours," she smiled as she bent down and placed a kiss on his forehead.

"Wait," he grabbed her robe, "Are you leaving me here? What about our bed?" he slurred.

"You're drunk, tomorrow," she smiled as she unlatched his hand, kissing it before turning to leave.

"I'm not that drunk," he huffed one more time before Rey turned out the lights. "Uh Rey, Rey," he called.

"Yes," she poked her head through the door.

"Can you leave the light on?"

"Scared, are you?"

"No, I need a fixed point of reference. The room is spinning," he muttered.

Grinning from ear to ear Rey flicked the lights on and left Ben to spin around in his own head.

XOX

His head felt like he had just been trampled by a herd of Banthas. But he knew he should have felt worse. He could just about remember coming back to their rooms last night and seeing Rey. He groaned internally at the thought of her having seen him intoxicated. He groaned again that he had _let _himself get intoxicated. However, he had to admit it he had enjoyed himself last night and not just because he swept the floor with them. He found their company easy and they hadn't treated him as an unwelcome intruder. He had felt like one of the _lads._ He laughed internally at the term. He knew there was a long way to go but he felt he had made a small step in the right direction last night.

"Morning fog brain?" Rey chimed as she came through the door.

"Fog brain?" Ben asked groggily as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Oh, you should have seen yourself last night," she laughed causing him to fall back onto the sofa with a groan, his hands covering his face. He could hear her moving around the room but stilled when he felt her straddle his waist as he lay there. Cracking his fingers open he dared a peak at Rey who was sat across his lap staring down at him, her eyes shining with mirth.

"Rey?" he questioned, not moving.

"Can I show you?" she bounced excitedly on his lap. At her movement Bens hands flew to her waist and held her in place.

"Yes, show me," he almost pleaded with her. Anything to stop her moving. That was something neither of them were ready for. Not quite yet. He groaned internally at that thought.

"Are you sure?" she wiggled. Kriff, she was driving his mind wild this morning. With no response she smiled and started to project the evening into his mind. He groaned at first, but he couldn't help the feeling Rey had felt at the time. Yes, she had enjoyed it, immensely, but her actions had been full of tender care and compassion.

Smiling at her he sat up slowly and held her waist lightly. "Thank you," he said in earnest as he kissed her softly good morning.

"Ben, I have been thinking,"

"Oh no, this doesn't sound good," he laughed, his thumb stroking her waist.

"No, hang on a minute," she punched him playfully, "I wondered if you wanted to spar with me this evening? I miss training, my muscles are aching for it."

"I had been thinking about this as well," he answered. He was in fact thinking of how something else ached, but bringing his attention back to her he continued, "Yes, why don't we start this evening. Ease ourselves back into things."

"Ben, one more thing," Rey raised an eyebrow, and he looked at her, "You stink of alcohol," she laughed placing a quick peck on his lips before jumping up to answer the door to collect breakfast.

"Let me jump in the shower and I will join you," he smiled as he stretched to his feet. Walking over to her he lent over her shoulder and placed a soft kiss on her cheek, "I mean it though, thank you." His hand lingering on the small of her back he turned and made for the shower wondering what a drunk Rey would be like.

* * *

Author's notes:

Hey everyone :D I hope you all enjoyed the above, it's probably one of my favourite chapters so far! Hopefully I will get the next chapter up on the weekend. I have just gotten a new job, in France (ahhhh scary), so I am going to try and get the story written, at least at my end, before I start!

Thank you to those who have followed/favourited and taken the time to review (I love reading them) the story!


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